"When an old and distinguished person speaks to you, listen to him carefully and with respect – but do not believe him. Never put your trust in anything but your own intellect. Your elder, no matter whether he has gray hair or lost his hair, no matter whether he is a Nobel Laureate, may be wrong... So you must always be skeptical – always think for yourself." --Linus Pauling


The Friend Zone

Bah. I have been banished (again) to The Friend Zone. You know that place: it's where Burgess Meredith wound up in a library after a nuclear war with all the books he could possibly want to read at his fingers-- only to break his glasses. Where William Shatner leaves a mental institution only to find himself on a plane that has a demonic thing attacking the wing. Where--

Oh wait, that's The Twilight Zone. Well it feels the same from where I'm standing. If I could just find the Rod Serling jerk in control of the place, I'd bust him one in the nose.


A snippet of conversation.

Here is an excahange between my boss and I yesterday:

Jack: So, if I joined a religion that required me to spend my holy days totally debauched in worship of Nyarlahotep, could I be excluded from working Sundays?

Bosslady: No, you can't use that reason. Better people than you have tried.

Jack: (pause) There are no better people than me.


Girl Interrupted Me

For the past few days, the statement "everything is going according to plan" has been running through my head. Not, let me point out, in a God sees all, knows all, etc. manner. No. Rather it plays in the smiling with a drink in his hand, astonishingly clever, loaded with charm, laconic 1960s film hero way (how's that for some keen personal insight into your scribe's brain?).

Whenever things would get messed up, go counter to my wishes, or generally go pear shaped as they inevitably do: S'alright. All is well. EIGATP. I like to think Norman Vincent Peale would be pleased, and slightly scandalised.

Last night, I had a date with a girl. We ate at Tommy's, watched Wings Of Desire, and talked. I leaned over to kiss her and...

...Girl said no. Can you believe that? Girl Said No. Urrrgh. We debated and discussed the matter. I brought out Occam's Razor and some Cream of the Jest. Girl would not be swayed. She still say no.

Still, no reason to be discouraged. Everything Is Going According To Plan. I'm seeing her again on Thursday night, where she has another chance to say, "No." On the bright side though, it is also a golden opportunity for her to say, "Yes."